Post Admission Blues

The past few weeks post-admission have been overwhelming. I feel like I’ve lost my footing a little bit, both professionally and personally. The training wheels have come off and I’m… liable.

Whenever I’ve felt “controlled” .. I’ve had this urge to, lose control. As an ‘alpha,’ I suppose that’s been my way of ‘controlling’ the situation, but I haven’t been managing that too well.

Despite several years of practice, I still can’t control my feelings. I’ve gotten to the point where they no longer control me (yay for progress!), but I’m not immune to their existence¬†and lately those feelings have been insecurity, uncertainty and unease.

Am I doing enough? Does anyone care? Am I even making a difference?

Work feelings bled into personal feelings; which I suppose is also progress from back in the day when personal feelings bled into work feelings; but its still not a good thing.

I’m an avid believe that motivation is intrinsic, so I knew where I had to go to find what I needed: the beginning.

When we feel like giving up, we have to remember why we started.

 

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