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What day is it?

I don’t even know. This week has been overwhelming. I have my first test on Monday and we’re halfway through our first semester (of 6). Which means 1/12 of the way through law school.

Oh God.

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Amidst the growing number of pages to read (Torts alone required over 60 pages of fine print) and the increasingly comprehensive homework assignments, as well as the anxiety of the upcoming contracts midterm TOMORROW, I was reminded that even though I might be physically away from home and its happenings, I can be quite easily drawn in.

Bad news found its way into my inbox in three messages, from three different people, about three different things back home.

The initial excitement of a familiar name in my unread messages folder quickly faded as I read past the first few lines of each email.

There’s nothing I can do; not even if I were at home. The difference is, being so far away and somewhat removed from these situations, I don’t feel as obliged to do something.

Or as guilty.

Or as helpless as I would have felt had it been happening 15km away.

I would have tried to fix it and beaten myself up over something that’s happening to someone else. Tried to make the hurt go away.

Spend time on it. Throw money at it. Throw myself in it. Lose myself in it. Completely ignoring the fact that I’m outside of it.

I’m starting to realise why my path took me overseas. I wouldn’t be able to do this program back home. Too much attachment. Insufficient boundaries. An over-active conscience.

Clearly, law isn’t the only schooling going on here.

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