“Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.” – Alphonse de Lamartine quotes (French Poet, Writer and Statesman, 1790-1869)
Parts of you are (still) embedded in the depths of my being. To eradicate those parts would be equivalent to amputating parts of my spirit. I cannot deny your presence; it wraps my soul like a blanket of affection or comfortable dysfunction.
Infrequent but intense, fleeting moments of your memories taunt me. Infrequent by necessity. If I thought about you as often as my heart wanted, if I reacted on my inherent instincts, I never would’ve been able to let you go. I would continue fighting to hold on to whatever was left, waiting, pining, for that “end of the day…” when all would be well again.
You promised you would be there to watch me wed, watch me grow (old), make you proud. My faith has been shattered. Definitions and meanings have been discredited and devalued. I feel hollow, foolish, angry and upset. Your presence was a blessing, your absence a lesson.
Come back to me.