“Who do You think You are?” The voice echoes in my head, enraged, accusing, condescending. As I close my eyes and swallow hard, I know the Pandora’s box has been opened and what will ensue within the walls of my now cold, numb flesh. Who do I think I am? Words rush in floods, overwhelmingly, alarmingly. I listen..
reactive. emotional. intense. overwhelming. elusive. sarcastic. dramatic. naive. immature. codependent. independent. petty. evil. hurt. jaded. jealous. small. cocky. tenacious. persistent. annoyingly persistent. adamant. stubborn. a believer. reluctant to believe. conflicted. honest. hesitant. hidden. analytical. observant. selective. boundless. guarded. unwanted. desired. a try-hard. a tries-too-hard. determined. disciplined. self-doubtful. angry. enraged. resilient. inadequate. a overthinker. passionate. eager. anxious. misguided. misinterpreted. compassionate. argumentative. irrational. ignorant. educated. wise. oblivious. strong. straightforward. verbose. performer. powerful. hungry. lustful. aggressive. insatiable. competitive. arrogant. guilty. remorseful. sorry. condemned. romantic. hopeful.
But I am more than words, actions, and feelings in conflict with one another.
I am human, but I aspire to be more than that. Sometimes I delude myself into believing I am.
I struggle every day (for a better tomorrow).
I fight without fear of pain, without fear of death, without fear of failure.
Sometimes I win.
Who do I think I am?
you have NO idea.