Yesterday, I was sought for counsel regarding an a relationship between a married man and another woman. Shortly after the session, I began writing. I recently read an article about ‘giving it five minutes’… I gave it 24 hours. As I re-visit it today, my initial feelings toward the situation have subsided in intensity, as has the length of this post, but the sentiment remains the same.

I’m not married, never have been and seeing society dismantle and disrespect this constitution DAILY, I’m not sure there’s much sanctity to it anymore anyways or what place it has . It seems to have become a formality, really. Long gone are the days where one “needed” to be married to have sex, to have kids, to live with their spouse, start a family, etc. even the stigmas are beginning to fade. I do however, have married friends, married male friends and married male friends who have expressed some more-than-friendly sentiments. This situation called upon a woman revealing her feelings to a married man and then continuing conversations of the ‘intimate’ kind — this wasn’t physical, it was emotional.

Boundaries.

We create our own and then we create our justifications for them.

My understanding and application of the term is growing as I grow, as a counsellor, daughter, sister, friend and whatever other label I fall under now and will in the future. I’m not going to debate what’s worse, what counts, what’s right or what’s wrong. That’s not my perogative as a philosopher or as an advocate for the outside perspective. But as those entities, I ask(ed) the following;

How would you feel if someone talked to your significant other the way you are talking to someone else’s significant other? Or maintained relations with your significant other in the manner you are with someone else’s?

We are drawn to certain people, yes, and we might not be able to help that, but what differentiates us as HUMANS from animals, who act and react on instincts and attractions, is our ability to rationalize and reason. We have the ability (whether we use it or not, the potential to is there) to think before we do. So be a human, THINK, before you do. Being human is not an excuse, it’s a responsibility to humankind. Honour humanity; respect your fellow humans.

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