Expectations are premeditated resentments.
What’s the solution? Have no expectations? Afterall, no expectations means no disappointment, right?
The absence of expectations does not correlate to the absence of disappointment (or resentments for that matter). We choose our states, recognize that at the very least we CHOOSE how long we stay in those states. Removing ourselves from one state doesn’t put us in another state automatically.
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO PUT OURSELVES IN A STATE
JUST LIKE WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO GET OURSELVES OUT OF A STATE.
I can guarantee that the absence of expectations will neither assure satisfaction NOR prevent the sting of disappointment that we are trying to avoid when we initially adopt the ‘no expectations, no disappointment’ mantra. Trust me, or go forth with your life of ‘no expectations’ and find out for yourselves when you reach the crossroads of disappointment and resent. Then come back and read this 🙂
Consider this, what’s the difference between expectations and standards? What does the absence of these say about our outlook on life? On ourselves?
Mediocrity? Compromise? Complacency?
All of it. How disrespectful it is, to the life you have been granted, to deny it the opportunity to be better with every day, reach higher with every day, run faster with every day, dream bigger with every day, to maximize your potential with EVERY DAY. That’s a lot of pressure some might say…
You bet it is.
How much pressure and adversity does a coal undergo to become a diamond? Does not each cut make that diamond shine brighter? Increase its value?
If you want to shine, if you want to be a diamond, then get ready… THE PRESSURE IS ON.
Caution: This ‘process’ of diamond making, it is not for the faint hearted and weak-willed. You need an exploding heart bursting full of love and compassion— towards yourself before anyone else. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing great, amazing things, go home, go watch tv. Relax. This process isn’t for you.
BUT… IF there is a voice in you, and I’m sure there is somewhere, that says I want to do something great. Then you’ve got the fire, I encourage you to fuel it. Enrage it. Anger it. You’ll hate the process but you’ll love it does to you, for you. You will come across people who will fuel it with you, don’t let feelings get in the way.
Emotions cloud judgement, attachment prevents perception and comfort compromises growth.
Take their ‘grindings’ and create your diamond. Use them for YOUR advancement. The ‘haters’ will eat their hearts out, the ‘lovers’ will be happy to see you shine and the indifferent, well.. they’ll remain indifferent
This isn’t going to be an easy journey. There will be struggles, conflicts, adversities, both internal and external but persevere, just keep going, even if you feel like you’re walking through mud, getting it wrong, seeing others getting it before you, getting it better than you, the undeserved, the ungrateful, either learn from it/them or leave it/them and MOVE ON. This isn’t about them. It’s about you, this is YOUR process. This is YOUR life.
So, go ahead, have expectations. Expect the world, just don’t expect it from anyone other than yourself.