A few days ago, I wrote about the “relationship bank account”  (see interpersonal investments). It has occured to me that I failed to mention a few things; with relationships or with money, it is of utmost importance that we remember the following…

  • Consider the other party; There’s a story about two old men who lived together. There was one orange in the fridge. Both wanted the orange, one wanted the juice and the other wanted the pulp.  Instead of settling for half each, or bothering to ask what the other wanted, the gentlemen who got to the orange first, juiced the orange and threw the pulp away. If they had just asked one another what they wanted and considered the other person, the needs of both men could have been met. Win-win — the only viable long term negotiating philosophy.

    Win-Win or no deal!

  • If it’s not a 100% ‘yes’, it’s ‘no’.  Our initial instincts are usally pretty good and they can be cultivated to become better (read “blink” for more tips on how). 
  • Never say “yes” to something you haven’t already thought about.
  • When too much is at stake, take a time-out.
  • Know your “walk-away” point.   

And the most important…