We say “yes” to others at the expense of ourselves because we are ‘unable’ to say “no.”
The fear of losing love? Fear of disappointing others? The need to be ever present? Ever available? To prove one’s value/worth? To retain some sort of control? To avoid our own lives?
We suffocate our self/best interest because, the idea of saying “yes” to yourself– especially if it means saying “no” to others, is unnerving.
Why does me > you?
Are we not meant to help others? Are we not meant to serve a higher purpose then ourselves? Selflessness is a virtue, right?
Or, is saying yes to others more self-serving/preservation?
Saying yes to oneself is to take accountability for one’s life; one’s happiness. With this comes responsibility:
Who will we have to blame for our unhappiness?
Perhaps it is easier to live a life of servitude, a ‘victim’ of circumstance then take accountability for our own lives, but is that not a choice we make?
Perhaps it is easier for me to help you achieve your goals then to pursue mine, because if I pursue mine and fail… How will I live with that? That’s far too heavy a burden to carry. But if I help with yours, I can console myself, “I couldn’t follow my dreams because I was helping him/her pursue theirs.”
Let me say yes to you because I’m afraid of saying yes to myself? Or, let me say no to myself because it’s easier then saying no to you?
If that’s the case, is there even such a thing as people pleasing? I please you because it pleases me to do so. I serve you because I want to or because I don’t want to serve myself.
So, who are we really pleasing?